Going in circles...

Am I the only one who finds that my writing progression and techniques seem to loop back around to the beginning every so often? Or that there seem to be phases to techniques and productivity?

For instance, I used to outline. Obsessively. It was over-outlining that actually killed more than one project, because I would write myself into a corner. I tend to take deadlines and outlines and any other kind of line seriously. I was one of those kids who learned to color inside the lines very, very quickly, because the idea of going outside the lines and making a mess was nigh-on sacrilegious.

And then, one day, I just decided to go with it. To just write and let what happened happen. I think I can thank my first NaNo for that. While that project was the offspring of an older, outlined project, and thus had a lot of paper fostered in, it was all background information. The actual story was new and thus I just had to roll with the punches as they came.

Now, I'm at sort of a middle-ground. I'd still classify myself very much as a pantser, but occasionally, I find myself scribbling out a tentative plan for the future. Not even a real outline, or anything really in-depth, but a plan for the future nonetheless.

I don't imagine I'll ever regress back into over-outlining, but I do find sometimes that outlining even that little bit can kill an idea, or at least my enthusiasm for an idea. But I don't count that as a bad thing. The advantage that does exist in outlining is that it can show me the weaknesses in an idea outright, in the beginning stages, before I get too emotionally involved.

Of course, sometimes that is a bad thing. I tend to over-think things sometimes and instead of just rolling with the idea, despite the weakness, and figuring out something along the way, identifying the problem can sometimes just cause me to freak out and avoid it.

But it fluctuates sometimes, which is the entire point of this post. Sometimes I find myself writing notes - outlining, if you will - to avoid forgetting things for the future. Sometimes I find myself actually planning out storylines and character development in advance. Sometimes I don't touch paper outside of actual story. It goes through phases. But those phases happen in a pattern. It's weird.

"Getting to know you"...

I'm currently taking a creative writing class because I'd never taken one before and was curious to see what they were like. My current conclusion is that no one can teach you how to write. Sure, they can give you pointers and you can use other people's techniques and follow their advice, but you will only ever learn from yourself really. I got where I am today by writing and while I'm nowhere near perfect, I'm comfortable enough with my writing that I can hear advice and then promptly either ignore it or adapt it for my own purposes.

For instance, we were recently talking about characters and getting to know them. I've read before about character sheets and while I can't deny that I've ever used them, I've never found them helpful. Many, many, many writing "how-to"s will tell you to get to know your characters inside out. Write down all their likes and dislikes, their relationships with their family, everything about them, even if that information never makes it into the story.

Personally, I find that sort of thing to be rather pointless.

Getting to know your characters is vital, sure. It's important to know what your character feels about things. However, I've never been one to outline and so very often, my method for character development is to take a character and throw them into the situation in my story and see what they do. Every character I've written that I can think of in recent memory has been written like this. My latest creations would be Bluejay and Suli from my as-of-yet unofficially titled "Bluejay Project".

I started off with basic archetypes in mind. Basically, Bluejay was fae and Suli was a plucky young heroine. Then I threw other characters in alongside them and they began to flesh out. It turns out Suli many more insecurities than I would have ever thought up just "character planning" and Bluejay is really good at avoiding the blame for things.

Plot arises from my characters' developments. I often have a vague idea about where I want the story to end up, but how they get there is often completely up in the air. Bluejay not always getting what he wants and Suli coming to grips with herself are now going to play big roles in my projected ending. I already had something like that in mind, but actually having developed the characters enough to do so, it feels so much better.

My writing style makes for a really messy first draft, but it is a first draft filled with great discovery. Even I don't know what's going to happen sometimes. It's like reading a story for the first time, except I'm the one writing. it.

Deadlines vs Outlines...

I realized something about myself today: I don't work on a schedule, I work to a deadline.

It explains so much about myself. It explains why I can blow away NaNo with a half-decent novel draft, but can take weeks and weeks on a simple short story. I don't typically give myself deadlines when I'm writing and that's part of the reason they can take so long to get done. Other things interfere and they take higher priority and so I don't write. During NaNo, NaNo is my highest priority and so it gets done.

Even in my day-to-day life, I work for deadlines rather than schedules. I don't think "Okay, today I get up at eight, eat breakfast, do this for an hour, blah blah blah" etc. I think "Okay, I have this many hours left in the day to do this amount of things. Go." I end up prioritizing and thus get my work done that way. I can't do the "do this thing first for this amount of time" because I never actually hit that goal.

It's kind of like my writing and how I don't outline. If I outline, I drive myself crazy because the finished product is nothing like the outline. Not ever, because if I manage to stick to the outline, the product feels blah because I shoehorned it in and thus it loses its vitality. Whereas if I give myself a vague direction ("These are some things I want to happen and maybe have it end this way") I am free to do whatever and I end up with a better product. It may take editing to make it the best it can be, but at least it still feels alive.

This is a big deal for me. It helps explain so, so much in my life.

It's not you, outline, it's me...

I realized why it is that I don’t like writing with outlines. When I outline, I write down the high points that I want to happen, along with perhaps a quick explanation as to what leads up to this point. An excerpt from my second draft planning for Scorpion and Sandman :

Next day, Red brings Leon into the ring

            Her POV: she had thought she understood what he wanted, but now she isn’t sure again and just watches

            His POV: is using Leon to vent as much as any teaching he is attempting (Red and Leon’s comradary)

The problem is that I have difficulty writing between the high points. When I write seat-of-my-pants (as I do in first drafts always), the high points come out of whatever the characters are doing at the moment. Their interactions lead me onto other interactions, which pave the way for events. However, when I try to make that work out from high point to high point as in one of my outlines, it ends up feeling forced.

It’s a major epiphany for me, this realization. It explains my loathing of outlines, which had previously been something of a mystery for me.